Ginger Problems – Guest Post

Hey there everybody, Nat’s partner here!

Seeing as my dearest Natalee is away at this moment in time she has asked me to take over her blog and do some posts for her. I believe she may have mentioned in the past I am a person of a fairer complexion… A carrot top, a fire truck, a Duracell… AKA GINGER!

Over the years my hair has darkened and I’ve even dabbled in dying it half black (I was young, wanted to be unique, and thought going half-black meant I kept my ginger heritage, DILLIGAF). I have come to terms with my “affliction” and embrace it as part of who I am but I do know that there are a lot of people out there that are not so supportive of us ginger folk. Granted I have not received much serious abuse directed at my gingerness, yes my friends (myth busted; gingers do actually have friends) do mock me occasionally but I can be just as offensive back. I consider myself to be lucky to have had good normal human friends.

As I just mentioned I have not received much abuse, unlike some of my ginger brethren who get some real stick for just having their mother eat too many Wotsits during pregnancy. My brother has always been there to question my legitimacy of being a blood relative, yet my dad and grandad were both ginger so I can safely say gingerness runs in the family. My good friend “Massey” gave me the nickname “ginge” or “gingey” (say it with a French accent) and constantly mocked me for it, but he’s a fat bastard so were pretty even. There has been the rare situation where I have encountered people that you could call “dicks” who just prey on something to belittle you. The only way to combat those people is to fight fire with a more orangey fire, tap into that fabled ginger-rage and rip them a new arsehole. That seemed to work for me anyway. There are those circumstances which I have come across that I feel I should raise awareness of in regards to being ginger so that more people would understand the harsh life we copper haired people live.

So this is what grinds my ginger gears.

“You’re ginger!”

One thing that really gets me is being insulted. I don’t mean being insulted for being ginger, I mean insulting my intelligence. Insult my gingerness all you want but at least be intelligent about it don’t say things like “Ha! You’re ginger”, “You been tangoed” or, “Hey look its Prince Harry!” Unless you want a barrage of expletives and be the brunt of my abuse for the rest of the evening. Be original, be unique! I like to hear new and funny ways to mock me. Just don’t repeat the same crappy insults you were saying in primary school. Speaking of crappy insults… Gingivitis is probably the most over used insult I have heard, especially whilst I was working in a pharmacy. It is a gum disease, no I do not have “ginger-vitis”! Just no…

“You’re quite attractive… For a ginger”

I never really knew quite how to take this. It was said to me by an ex’s friend as we were entering a nightclub (this was just after my ex dumped me). In one sense she was calling me attractive… For a sub human organism. Said friend was mocked for stating such an absurd statement but I went with it and it helped me feel better about myself with my above ginger-average looks. I know that being a descendant of orang-utans has been a cock block on a multitude of occasions, with people reacting so negatively towards a ginger male making advances on them (maybe they thought they could catch gingivitis?) but sometimes my charm and my “You’re a more attractive Mick Hucknall” looks won some women over. Yes I know that out in the world there are those of you freaks that like us redheads. The general consensus though tends to favour the female of our species which I can entirely understand. Us gingers seem to be like Eastern Europe, the men tend to be fairly odd looking whilst a lot of the women are strikingly attractive so much so there’s porn dedicated to it (but then that statement doesn’t seem to work when you bring in Rule 34). Seriously though, how many male ginger models are out there? In terms of celebrity gingers I only have Ed Sheeran, Mick Hucknall, Carrot Top, Rupert Grint, Tim Minchin, Leigh Francis, and Prince Harry. That is off the top of my head but I am pretty sure that is it. One of the biggest sex symbols, Jessica Rabbit, although a cartoon is still a red head. Therein lies another problem. I like ginger women (I consider myself open minded and like any version of women) but I could never be in a relationship with one. Ginger on ginger cannot morally happen, it would be like going out with my sister. It would definitely look that way to outsiders. But even so I can admire their beauty and have almost incestuous crushes on women like Felicia Day, Emma Stone, Christina Hendricks, Isla Fisher the list goes on!

Image taken from http://www.ohmymag.com

Meanwhile here is what ginger men have to offer…

Image taken from http://www.wbaltv.com

Catching “Ginger-vitis”

Gingivitis is a gum disease. It has nothing to do with gingers. Just no. I know I have already stated this, but it’s so bad it needs to be said again.

“Ginger Kids”

This one isn’t relating to children, this is in fact relating to the South Park episode named so. I love the show and my issue is not with the content in the episode, directly at least. Whatever Matt Stone and Trey Parker write is always full of social commentary and should never be taken to heart. What I have an issue is the way in which people deal with most things and take only what suits and improves their situation, no matter how petty and childish it is. I had an unfortunate experience with some chavs playing Cartman’s speech about ginger kids through a crappy phone on a bus. It was aimed at me, I overheard the build up to it. Granted I was not intimidated by them, and I didn’t allow it to ruin my day. It is just infuriating how some people have the audacity to use something out of context of the whole episode that I love to hurt, and belittle me, just because of hair colour.

Angry Ginger Kid

I don’t have much to say about this, but that guy ranting about the same South Park episode mentioned above gave us gingers a bad rep. Thanks dude.

I suppose he made the most of his own infamy though so good on him.

Extinction

It shouldn’t really be news to people but ginger people aren’t going extinct at all (sorry, not sorry!). Even though we are a rare breed we’re still going strong, in the background of your genes waiting for that time to arrive when we meet someone else with the recessive gene.

Sunlight

I am a day-walker. That means that I can withstand sunlight. I have been to Lanzarote and Fuerteventura and I didn’t burn once (even whilst using factor 4!). In fact my face actually tanned. The only time I have been burnt in recent times is on a university snowboarding holiday where nobody really cared to cream up, and pretty much everyone got goggle burn. Some were a hell of a lot worse than me.

What gets me annoyed though is the assumption that I will burn within seconds of being exposed to a smidgen of sun light. Much like this footage of ginger falling victim to a vicious werewolf attack whilst helpless bystanders do nothing but watch the horror unfold.

To those people that feel the need to warn me about the dangers of my fair complexion and being outside… Thanks. Thank you for giving me a heads up on how this year I have a chance of being burnt in slightly overcast weather. I never knew that. In my whole twenty-six years of being on this Earth, no one ever told me that. OR, I seem to have forgotten that you tell me EVERY SINGLE TIME SUNSHINE APPEARS.

I don’t know how many other gingers would feel this way, I know that there are some out there that do crisp up pretty easy. My dad is one of them. I suppose it would only apply to my fellow day-walkers.

Souls

I am an empiricist. Even if I contemplated the notion that souls even existed, you prove to me you have a soul before you say I don’t. I studied theories of mind, body and soul in philosophy so I have some grasp on the technicalities on having a soul. You may call that evil, you may claim I only think that because I am a ginger devil spawn. I may sometimes feel uneasy about going through automatic doors, as they seem to respond to my presence a bit later than other non-gingers. It changes nothing, you are just as soulless as a ginger. Deal with it.

There you have it. My list of gripes and groans about the world from the perspective of a ginger. Nat allowed me to express my grievances, even with my somewhat blunt and abrasive style (forgive me!) all in the name of good fun..

Let me know what you think in the comments down below! Do you know any ginger people? Or are you a ginger yourself? Make sure to let me know.

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